How to build a Pirate Ship

1. Get meat;
   
2. Cook bacon (of course);
   
3. Grab pirate ship pan.  You do have one, don’t you?
    
   
4. Install italian sausage portholes;
    
5. Install lamb sausage decking;
   
6. Create chicken breast sails;
   
7. Add bacon rigging and lamb sausage crowsnest;
   
8. …and lamb sausage mast;
   
9. Fill Jolly Rogers with black pepper;
   
10. Raise the T-bone flags!
    
11. Fill with veal meatloaf for ballast;
    
12. Wait, it’s not full.  Add more T-bone chunks;
    
13. Use the rest of the italian sausage to fill ‘er up;
    
14. Then add bacon.  ‘Cause that’s what you do.
    
15. Throw it in the hold and bake it until it’s good and solid, then flip it over onto a cookie sheet or something;
    
16. Bake it some more until it gets nice and toasty on top.  You may want to add butter to the sails to make sure they stay moist.
    

That’s it.  There should be enough pirate ship for your whole crew of scalawags to plunder.  Add rye or beer to make it a rowdy free-for-all, or class it up with some red wine – it’s up to you ‘cause you’re the captain!